It's Been A Little While...since then...

WOWZA!  Well, the title says it best.  It's been a little while since my last post (I hate admitting I'm over a year!!!)   Well, it's because we were so full of amazing activity that I just didn't have time to sit and type it all up.

Ok, that's a lie.

Winter fun selfie!

Truthfully, I have been busy, but I've been exhausted and I've been without any thought beyond "what can I trick Sweet P into eating today?!"- honestly, trick is the correct word.  He doesn't like to eat a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g!  Even when he asks specifically for something, he just squishes and mashes it into whatever surface he can (walls, plate, pants, hair...)

SO, I've resorted to the two H's of toddler motherhood:  Hiding and Hoping.

which, by the way, I've discovered these two go into so many areas of toddler motherhood - i'm on a D.D. track (daily deception)

Yup- I hide nutrient packed foods into the two little items he will occasionally eat (Quesadilla & Spaghetti/pasta w/marinara) and hope he doesn't notice.

My picky eater loves pasta & marinara!

Enough about that, there's plenty of time for me to talk food later.  Right now, I'm sure, I need to catch you up on where the heck we've been.

Well,  in June the Mr. got a promotion at work!!!   That was a wonderful blessing, both to our finances and his hard work & dedication.  I am so proud of him.  He continued in his MBA program and to officiate High School football through the fall.   He's an ambitious one, I tell ya!  He completed his MBA in January and we through him a fun surprise congratulatory party!  (He would have said no if I'd asked him if I could...can't say no to a surprise!)

Taking a break from all the seriousness to enjoy an Alaskan tradition:
the Fur Rondy Parade

I continued to serve on the women's ministry team at church, assisting in planning the annual women's retreat, christmas coffee, and other events.  In November, I was asked to take over the Director position that was coming available (pending an out of state move for the current leader).  After MUCH wrestling with God, discussions with the Mr. and advice from my prayer warriors, I reluctantly accepted.  (please don't misinterpret - my reluctance is due to no desire whatsoever to lead, but God's will is far more important to me and He made His will known to me loud & clearly!  So, I was/am obedient - in this venture anyways ;) )  I officially took over the position, Dec 6th.  We plan an event every month, so it's a big job, but there are many many blessings!

In October, my step-FiL was in a plane crash that tragically took the life of the pilot.  By no small miracle, my FiL (Pop as P calls him) survived.  While he was in the hospital, we were told several times to prep for him to not make it through the night.  He spent 59 days in the hospital and was released a week before Christmas.  His healing has been 100% a miracle.  The Drs and specialists are constantly reminding him that it is a miracle he's alive, let alone doing so well.  P has become his "therapy".  We take him to his Dr appts (my MiL works full time), we take him on outings with us to the park, lunch, zoo,  etc.    They have a special relationship.  We praise God for his life and healing every day.  I am so thankful for Pop's love of my lil Sweet P and am thankful they get so much time together.   I am grateful I am able to stay home with my lil man and therefore am able to also help my MiL (who P knows as MeMe).  P's third favorite person is MeMe (assuming Daddy and I are his #1 & 2).

Sweet P's first time seeing Pop after the accident.
Pop was released one week later!

Sweet P taking Pop for a walk on a cold/wet day.

MeMe and Pop taking Sweet P to the park

We took Pop on a picnic.
Sweet P brought Bob-Bob & Boo

Sweet P is an amazing 20 month old 21 month old (yes I did just realize he aged a bit more). And I'm not just saying that because I'm his momma- ok, I might be...

At 14 months, P was sitting on my lap facing me (giving kisses of course).  He looked at my Boston Red Sox lettering, pointed to one of the letters and said "X".  WHAT?!  I could not believe it!!!  He proceeded to tell me the letters S, N, B, T and E.  WHAT?! WHAT?!

WHAT?!?!?!

Exactly!   I didn't expect THAT!

Shortly after, he was telling me numbers, colors, shapes.   Today, he can read many words, and some words that we spell out loud, he can tell us what they are (zoo, some, like, with, Traci...just to name a few).  He loves to read.  He will pick up a book and read all the words out of it he can and have me help him with the others by saying "momma, help read it."

This is not something we forced onto him, 

it just happened to be where his interests have laid.   

The Hubs and I are firm believers in feeding the interests of children, 

and if there is what appears to be a true talent, 

encouraging that in a fun and supportive way.  

So, while some may feel we must be overworking him, 

or that we must be forcing him to 

meet some expectation, or the ever popular 

"What happened to letting a kid be a kid",

I will assure you, 

he's leading this advanced learning, and as his parents, 

we are encouraging and supporting his interests.

(Perhaps I will write a blog on this at some point).

Sweet P will not go to his crib without Bob-Bob, Boo and a good book
He regularly falls asleep either under or over a book.

P woke and the first thing he asked for was his letters - this is a normal occurrence. 

For some reason, he LOVES to read through my bible.  I do not object!

P loves to paint, be outside, climb hills, go down slides, ride in his Chariot behind my 'bicycle' (as he says) - or skis when it snows, play with cars, run, play in puddles, spend time with his MeMe and Pop, carry his "fwiends" everywhere with him (two brown stuffed bears that he named Bob-Bob & Boo), and so much more.  He says phrases like "I did it", "Ta-da, Touchdown", "See ya",  "I like it"... I love this boy!  I could go on and on for hours.....but I will refrain.

First bike ride of the season!
Sweet P loved going over the bumps, under tunnels and over bridges.

We ride 6 miles to Sweet P's favorite park to play before riding back home.

This lil boy LOVES to paint!  

Playing with his cars.  Someone taught him "crash".

This summer is full of excitement for us.  Our summer actually started early up here in Alaska, I was able to get my garden planted and already have sprouts coming up.  My flowers are in bloom and the strawberry are fruiting.   We have a family trip coming up then my mom & step-dad will be visiting.  I am feeling less overwhelmed with life now, as I feel Sweet P and I have FINALLY settled into a routine (so much change the first 20 months - it seems as soon as you get a routine, they change and therefore your routine does), so I plan to 'be around' the blog a lot more ;)

Sweet P is potty training Bob-Bob

Selfie at the Alaska Botanical Gardens
the sun was so glorious when we took a minute to sit and have lunch.

Nothing will rain on his parade!  

At the Loussac Library, immediately drawn to the shapes.

Rainy day painting fun!

Of course, we have plenty of melt downs also!
 (yes, I am laughing while I'm holding him here)

New Year Beginning

This new year is a special one for us. 

We are beginning it with a third member for our first time.  

Last year on New Year's Eve, the hubs and I debated whether I should take a pregnancy test.  He won the debate and we have been overjoyed, blessed and sometimes scared everyday since then.  It has been a roller coaster ride (please see previous posts), but one I would do again!

For Christmas, we bought Sweet P a little devotional that is a child's adaptation of "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers.  The child's version is called "Jesus Wants All Of Me" and goes day by day with the same scripture and similar lesson as the adult's version.  This morning, Sweet P and I sat down and started our devotionals for this year with a nice cup of tea! (I gave up coffee when I gave up cream - I put Almond Milk in my tea and it is yummy)

With the Hubs home to watch Sweet P, I was able to start a new knitting project today.

We also enjoyed one of our new traditions.  Let's see if you can guess

It involves these ingredients and a hot fire

Yup - You guessed it!  S'mores!!!  We roast the marshmallows in our fireplace and enjoy some in-house s'mores :)

It appeared as though our Lil Sweet P wanted some too.  

We do have some exciting things coming up this year, but we are not sharing *yet* (NO, we are not having another baby).   

We haven't made any new years resolutions.... We had so much on our plate in 2012 that we had to accomplish, I think we both need to just take every day as it comes.  And learning to be parents is a pretty big task in it's own.

What about you?  Any New Years Day fun? Do you have any resolutions?

Our "Little" Blessing - part One

I wanted to take some time to share the magnitude of our current "little" blessing.  Little being such a relative word, as this gift is a HUGE blessing.  Day by day.

As I share, please keep in mind, this is what I personally battled.  My husband, I'm sure has had his own battles, but this is to share mine. (since it's quite a long story, I will share thus far in two parts - today is part one)

For years, I prayed and lamented over having a child.  Some months, the heartache would be great as I would just "know" I was pregnant, but the test would say negative, and sure enough, life would go on, sans baby.   I would have many ask us when we were going to "try" or when we were going to start a family.

This question irks me!!

WE ARE A FAMILY.  

Our family started when we said "I Do".

I would try to be gracious and merciful in my replies (just as Jesus is with me) and understand that others don't always know of our past.  Not all who ask us know that we have a son, William Ryan, who was born sleeping in 2005.  Not all who want us to experience the joy of parenthood, know the pain and heartache of losing a child.  Sometimes, I would let them know that we are a family and we have a son who has gone on before. Sometimes I wouldn't share anything about my son. But ALWAYS I would let them know that 

if a child is God's plan for our little family, then He will make it happen in His time. 

There were times people felt we just didn't want children, since we hadn't had any yet.  Which invokes comments of 'selfish' or 'can't deal with the change'.  Strange that people would think such things if we have never spoken such things.  

I often had people ask me if we'd tried fertility treatments, or seen a fertility specialist to talk about options.  I would try not to be offended as I felt and thought "there is nothing wrong with me".  I would pray that I would hold fast to the Truth that I know.  

I started to have doubts, that maybe I do need to see a fertility doctor.  That maybe that is what God is trying to tell me.  And after agonizing months of living with my thoughts, I talked to my husband about it.  Well, shortly after, 

I had an early term miscarriage.  I did not even know I was pregnant!!!  

But I saw it as a blessing.

I felt God telling me

"It's not you, daughter, just trust Me."

I thought that if I ever did become pregnant, and I knew about it, I would be scared and anxious the entire pregnancy.  I knew, in the back of my mind, that I would be a Nervous Nelly, biting my nails, panicking over every weird feeling, not wanting to share the blessing; which would, in the end, rob us of all joy.

In November 2011, I felt myself really release my desires of a child to God.   I remember sitting with my cup of coffee, meditating on His goodness and feeling an overwhelming peace as I spoke aloud:

"You are enough, Jesus."

And, for the first time since becoming a Christian, I truly believed that!

Boxes for Faith and William's Gift

We have had quite the weekend of work around here.  Friday night, I got together with some ladies and we put together Boxes for Faith to take to the local hospitals.

Boxes for Faith is a recently formed idea that a friend started; in October, she gave birth to Faith Ann, who was 'born sleeping'.  These are 'memory' boxes filled with items given to moms whose babies are "still"born (or sleeping as we like to call it).

She asked myself and another gal to be apart of this.  (And any and all family and friends who want to participate).   I quickly jumped at the opportunity since I was already in the works of starting an organization for my own son, William Ryan, (who was born sleeping six years ago) called William's Gift and asked her if I could include Boxes for Faith in the William's Gift umbrella.  I had been praying for God to direct the path He wanted me to take, and boy did He!  I love His faithfulness!!!

So, Friday night, a group of us put together 40 boxes of items and prayed that these boxes would last Anchorage a VERY LONG TIME as we do not hope that any should go through this, but we DO want whoever does to know that there is a support group of women who have been through it.

(L-R) Kim, myself, and Brittany behind most of the boxes that were completed

Me filling boxes 

With us, a wonderful group of women who came to help and have shown unending love and support through the hard times and grieving

In the boxes, we added:

• foot & hand print kits
• disposable cameras
• a precious little photo album
• a candle (to burn for one hour on the second Sunday in Dec)
• baby booties
• a gauze drawstring bag 
• little beanies/hats
• and a sympathy card 

One of our main goals, is to bring awareness to the reality of 'still'borns.  So many women and marriages go through this alone in fear of talking about it and thinking they truly are alone in this experience.   We want to build a support group for these women and marriages and families.  

We refer to our babies as "born sleeping" because we know they will be in Heaven when we get there. We also call it "still"born instead of stillborn because we did go through labor and give birth, so our babies were stillborn, they were just born sleeping.

These are the scriptures we find comfort in:

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young - Isaiah 40:11(NIV)

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." - Matthew 19:14 (NIV)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

I also find great comfort in the verse from Job 14:5 that refers to man's days being determined and numbered.  God IS the giver of life.  He knows the numbers our days for us.  He had a purpose for my son, and He knew the number of days his heart would beat.

My son fulfilled his purpose. 

Also this song by Natalie Grant.  I listen to it over and over and over when I'm in my moments of not understanding.

I actually have a whole playlist (of course I do) that I listen to over and over and over again in my sad moments:

Quiet My Heart - Brooke Barrettsmith

Give Me Jesus - Jeremy Camp

Held - Natalie Grant

Never Let Go - David Crowder Band

You're Not Alone - Meredith Andrews

God Moves In A Mysterious Way - Jeremy Riddle

This Little Light of Mine - Addison Road

O Praise Him (All This for a King) - David Crowder Band

Walk by Faith - Jeremy Camp

In Christ Alone - Natalie Grant

What verses do you find comfort in/meditate on?  Do you have a 'comfort' song, or playlist?  Please share what quiets your heart and soul.

Dia de Madre!

Every year, the nation has a day set aside for every mom: Mother's Day.  But today is my Mom's Day.   Yup, that's right, today is:

My Mommy's Birthday!!

In honor of her day, today's post is all about my mom!   So who is she, well

She's a woman who always took people in and valued a 'full house' as we had several of our friends live with us from time to time.  

She loves to laugh, garden, and travel.  

She always has an end table full of library books, and would read them as fast as she got them. 

 She's a hard worker and volunteers where she can.  

She's a giver.

We always had 'an extra seat' and there was always 'enough' for one more as my mom always has an open door for anybody.  I love that about her and am glad she passed that on to me <sniffle, sniffle, tear.....tissue please>.

For all the things my mom has passed on to me that I have to be grateful for, I will only share a few (or ten).  So, because of my mom, I:

• do what I can for others and show my love by cooking for you
• have a "can do, will do" attitude (even if I think I can't and don't want to)
• am cool, calm and collected during an emergency (then get sick & freak out later)
• am independent
• have a love for 'old world traditional' decor (lots of natural elements)
• love mexican food and can cook some amazing enchiladas
• have to have a pet, an indoor pet.
• LOVE to read
• am a thrifty shopper by nature
• most importantly, have siblings I can't imagine my life without

The old saying goes "mom knows best" and while I'm old enough to know not one person "knows best", I do know that my mom always did the best she knew how.   

And doing is her specialty. 

So, here are a few (and rare) pics of mi madre.  She does not like her pic taken, but I got these out of her :)

A few years ago at my brother's birthday party

Looking for money to pay my niece for the cookie - haha, my lil niece, the entrepreneur 

still during my brother's bday party (I was lucky to get two shots there!)

being goofy w/a silly hat in Homer, AK

She and I at Thunderbird Falls in AK

My FAVORITE Day of the Year!

Today, I am Thankful....

photo taken on a hike at Arctic Valley, there was that perfect separation between the clouds that allowed the sun a perfect display of radiance

for Jesus, and the Cross

for My Man who I'm fortunate enough to call hubby

for a day set aside with the purpose of reflecting on how blessed I am

for good friends that have become my family

for all I have been given

for all that has been taken from me, for even in those times, I can see the blessings

for the people God has surrounded me with

for the freedom to Worship my Savior openly

for creativity and my desire to play in it

for my family and their health

for my lil Miss Marianne

Because I have HOPE 

What are you thankful for?

Daddy's Girl

Today is my Dad's Birthday!!!  

As a shout out to the best daddy a little girl could have, today's blog is all about him!

YUP - I'm a typical eye-lash battin, sweet talkin, all-American Daddy's Girl!

For all the reasons I have to be grateful for him, I will only share a few (ok 10) as not to bore you.  So, because of my Dad, I:

• love coffee and huckleberry pancakes
• am a huge fan of music
• always want a fire burning
• love popcorn
• love to hike, camp and fish (and I clean my own)
• can survive in the wilderness
• can fix my own car (if I really want to)
• can ride horses
• love a good BBQ
• most importantly, grew to understand and accept God's love for me

I always get choked up on his birthday or on Father's Day as I know that even though it's his day, it's us kids who've received the gift.  And then I have to listen to that Brad Paisley song "He Didn't Have to Be".        (sheesh, thanks Brad, <insert tears> you could've also provided a box of tissue with every CD sold on that one!)


A few photos of my Dad during my last visit home doing what we enjoy most:

At his home in one of the most beautiful cabin locations in Gibbonsville, Idaho

Fishing at Wallace Lake in Idaho

The strong hands that have loved and taught much

Enjoying the serenity of Wallace Lake in Idaho

Going for a walk about on some nice trails in Idaho

B-B-Qing at his cabin in Gibbonsville, Idaho

xo - Secora

Weextend in Seattle

This past weextend (my way of saying extended weekend), Justin and I flew to Seattle.   It was tons of fun.  My mom and I surprised my sister - my mom flew to Portland, picked her up, drove to Seattle and the next morning, I walked into their hotel room unannounced!

I can't believe my mom kept the secret for THREE MONTHS!!! (and neither could she or my sis)  It was fabulous!!!  I spent two days with them at the Women of Faith Conference.

My mom & sis during one of our breaks at the conference.

Of course, while in Seattle, one goes to Pike's!  

The smell of Pike's Market is discovered!  haha

Justin, Justin's friend and I went to a concert on Saturday night...It was a LONG night, but enjoyable.  I enjoyed the drum solo while Justin and friend enjoyed the guitar solo - haha.

Justin being tough at the concert!

Sunday, Justin and I went to a Seahawks game (vs the Bengels) - Yeah, we know, but hey, when in Rome, right?!    Poor Justin, had to explain everything to me....and I kept asking, "who are we voting for again?" oh-me-oh-mi-yo.  In which he would reply, "we're not voting until the preliminaries".

Justin and I: Pre-game warmth and snapshot!

Oh yeah, AND we had "nose bleed" seats - YES, I AM afraid of heights!

Oh, and I learned, the Seahawks take their fans pretty seriously!  The fans will get soooo loud, it causes false somethings (can't remember what is false) and that's a pretty big deal!   A local merchant will donate $500 per false-something to a specific charity.   So it's obvious this behavior is encouraged!  The fan is called The 12th Man.

 Here (in front of the red Toyota sign) is the 12th man flag that is put up at every home game.  

I tried to get a video recording of the fans yelling and screaming, but my SD card was full - dangit!  But it was entertainment for sure!



xo - Secora