It's Been A Little While...since then...

WOWZA!  Well, the title says it best.  It's been a little while since my last post (I hate admitting I'm over a year!!!)   Well, it's because we were so full of amazing activity that I just didn't have time to sit and type it all up.

Ok, that's a lie.

Winter fun selfie!

Truthfully, I have been busy, but I've been exhausted and I've been without any thought beyond "what can I trick Sweet P into eating today?!"- honestly, trick is the correct word.  He doesn't like to eat a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g!  Even when he asks specifically for something, he just squishes and mashes it into whatever surface he can (walls, plate, pants, hair...)

SO, I've resorted to the two H's of toddler motherhood:  Hiding and Hoping.

which, by the way, I've discovered these two go into so many areas of toddler motherhood - i'm on a D.D. track (daily deception)

Yup- I hide nutrient packed foods into the two little items he will occasionally eat (Quesadilla & Spaghetti/pasta w/marinara) and hope he doesn't notice.

My picky eater loves pasta & marinara!

Enough about that, there's plenty of time for me to talk food later.  Right now, I'm sure, I need to catch you up on where the heck we've been.

Well,  in June the Mr. got a promotion at work!!!   That was a wonderful blessing, both to our finances and his hard work & dedication.  I am so proud of him.  He continued in his MBA program and to officiate High School football through the fall.   He's an ambitious one, I tell ya!  He completed his MBA in January and we through him a fun surprise congratulatory party!  (He would have said no if I'd asked him if I could...can't say no to a surprise!)

Taking a break from all the seriousness to enjoy an Alaskan tradition:
the Fur Rondy Parade

I continued to serve on the women's ministry team at church, assisting in planning the annual women's retreat, christmas coffee, and other events.  In November, I was asked to take over the Director position that was coming available (pending an out of state move for the current leader).  After MUCH wrestling with God, discussions with the Mr. and advice from my prayer warriors, I reluctantly accepted.  (please don't misinterpret - my reluctance is due to no desire whatsoever to lead, but God's will is far more important to me and He made His will known to me loud & clearly!  So, I was/am obedient - in this venture anyways ;) )  I officially took over the position, Dec 6th.  We plan an event every month, so it's a big job, but there are many many blessings!

In October, my step-FiL was in a plane crash that tragically took the life of the pilot.  By no small miracle, my FiL (Pop as P calls him) survived.  While he was in the hospital, we were told several times to prep for him to not make it through the night.  He spent 59 days in the hospital and was released a week before Christmas.  His healing has been 100% a miracle.  The Drs and specialists are constantly reminding him that it is a miracle he's alive, let alone doing so well.  P has become his "therapy".  We take him to his Dr appts (my MiL works full time), we take him on outings with us to the park, lunch, zoo,  etc.    They have a special relationship.  We praise God for his life and healing every day.  I am so thankful for Pop's love of my lil Sweet P and am thankful they get so much time together.   I am grateful I am able to stay home with my lil man and therefore am able to also help my MiL (who P knows as MeMe).  P's third favorite person is MeMe (assuming Daddy and I are his #1 & 2).

Sweet P's first time seeing Pop after the accident.
Pop was released one week later!

Sweet P taking Pop for a walk on a cold/wet day.

MeMe and Pop taking Sweet P to the park

We took Pop on a picnic.
Sweet P brought Bob-Bob & Boo

Sweet P is an amazing 20 month old 21 month old (yes I did just realize he aged a bit more). And I'm not just saying that because I'm his momma- ok, I might be...

At 14 months, P was sitting on my lap facing me (giving kisses of course).  He looked at my Boston Red Sox lettering, pointed to one of the letters and said "X".  WHAT?!  I could not believe it!!!  He proceeded to tell me the letters S, N, B, T and E.  WHAT?! WHAT?!

WHAT?!?!?!

Exactly!   I didn't expect THAT!

Shortly after, he was telling me numbers, colors, shapes.   Today, he can read many words, and some words that we spell out loud, he can tell us what they are (zoo, some, like, with, Traci...just to name a few).  He loves to read.  He will pick up a book and read all the words out of it he can and have me help him with the others by saying "momma, help read it."

This is not something we forced onto him, 

it just happened to be where his interests have laid.   

The Hubs and I are firm believers in feeding the interests of children, 

and if there is what appears to be a true talent, 

encouraging that in a fun and supportive way.  

So, while some may feel we must be overworking him, 

or that we must be forcing him to 

meet some expectation, or the ever popular 

"What happened to letting a kid be a kid",

I will assure you, 

he's leading this advanced learning, and as his parents, 

we are encouraging and supporting his interests.

(Perhaps I will write a blog on this at some point).

Sweet P will not go to his crib without Bob-Bob, Boo and a good book
He regularly falls asleep either under or over a book.

P woke and the first thing he asked for was his letters - this is a normal occurrence. 

For some reason, he LOVES to read through my bible.  I do not object!

P loves to paint, be outside, climb hills, go down slides, ride in his Chariot behind my 'bicycle' (as he says) - or skis when it snows, play with cars, run, play in puddles, spend time with his MeMe and Pop, carry his "fwiends" everywhere with him (two brown stuffed bears that he named Bob-Bob & Boo), and so much more.  He says phrases like "I did it", "Ta-da, Touchdown", "See ya",  "I like it"... I love this boy!  I could go on and on for hours.....but I will refrain.

First bike ride of the season!
Sweet P loved going over the bumps, under tunnels and over bridges.

We ride 6 miles to Sweet P's favorite park to play before riding back home.

This lil boy LOVES to paint!  

Playing with his cars.  Someone taught him "crash".

This summer is full of excitement for us.  Our summer actually started early up here in Alaska, I was able to get my garden planted and already have sprouts coming up.  My flowers are in bloom and the strawberry are fruiting.   We have a family trip coming up then my mom & step-dad will be visiting.  I am feeling less overwhelmed with life now, as I feel Sweet P and I have FINALLY settled into a routine (so much change the first 20 months - it seems as soon as you get a routine, they change and therefore your routine does), so I plan to 'be around' the blog a lot more ;)

Sweet P is potty training Bob-Bob

Selfie at the Alaska Botanical Gardens
the sun was so glorious when we took a minute to sit and have lunch.

Nothing will rain on his parade!  

At the Loussac Library, immediately drawn to the shapes.

Rainy day painting fun!

Of course, we have plenty of melt downs also!
 (yes, I am laughing while I'm holding him here)

40 Days

Next week, Thursday to be exact, is the first day of the Bible Study/Life Group I will be facilitating.  Nervous? Yes!  Excited? Yes!  Coveting Prayers?  YES!

We are starting in Acts.  Does that strike anyone else as "coincidentally" appropriate?  I have to confess, until this morning, it hadn't even dawned on me the timing!!  (I don't believe in coincidence if following God's will and path.) 

I had been praying, prior to deciding what to do, that the Spirit would reveal to me what type of study I should do and where we should start...I felt a very clear direction to start in Acts and just walk through the Word.  Before I was able to share that with the Pastor, he said "Let me tell you what I would like to see..." and proceeded to tell me how he would love it if we just went straight through the books of the Bible

(Confirmation??  I think so!)

I then shared with him that I was feeling led to start in the book of Acts.  Prior to today, this made sense to me because:

a) I've attended several studies that started in Acts, but we never finished (anyone who knows me,  

    knows I like to finish a book - even if I don't like the book, like "Lord of the Flies") 
b) our church is currently on a Matthew through John challenge, so the following book would be Acts

Doesn't that make sense?!

Today, I feel I received a very valuable realization...

Acts begins with a brief what Jesus did after He rose and before He ascended.

YES- I already knew that!  

But what I didn't realize (because I'm horrible with time), is that we would be starting our study the Thursday following Easter Sunday - 

what's that?!  Do I mean Resurrection Sunday?!  Why yes, yes I do!!  

And that, my friends, is where my "coincidentally appropriate" comes in!  ('scuse my excitement, I get this way when I feel God showing me new stuff, even if it's tiny).  This may be something you already thought of- I'm typically a bit late on the uptake.

As I was reading Acts 1 this morning (and having my epiphany), the 40 days stood out to me.  Maybe it's all my singing of Arky Arky to Phalen - 

you know "The Lo-ord told Noah to build him an Arky Arky...

get.those.animals out of the muddy muddy"

(now it's stuck in your head isn't it?!)

anyways, 40 days has been standing out to me a lot.  

God used 40 days with Noah (see above song referenced).  Jesus was in the wilderness fasting for 40 days.  And in Acts 1, Jesus spent 40 days, after He rose, proving He is alive and spreading the news of the Kingdom of God.(vs 3)  40 seems to be an important number!  I'm not a theologian, so currently I don't know the significance, but I am going to be looking into that.

Reading this, I was moved to challenge myself to let Jesus prove Himself to me.  Ok, before this sounds like some sort of heresy, let me state for the record that Jesus does not have to prove Himself to me; 

I am a full blown, sold out believer in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour!

  

But I would be kidding myself to say that I see Him in my everyday life....not that He isn't there, it's just I fail to pay attention.  

I fail to let Jesus reveal Himself to me in the ways He wants to.  

I fail to feel Him in the wind and see Him in the sunsets.  

I fail to experience Him in relationships. 

I fail to breathe Him in from the scent of a rose.  

Not everyday, of course!  There are days I'm seeing and feeling and breathing and experiencing Jesus in all that is around and all that I do.  But if I were to be honest, I would say it's not enough.  And I would say I can have a bad moment afterwards and forget about it.  I would say:

"I do believe, Lord, help my unbelief" - Mark 9:24

Because in the end, isn't that what it's about...we fail to believe?!  For isn't it that if we had belief even the amount of a mustard seed..........And didn't Jesus have to prove himself to his own apostles because they didn't believe?!

Soooo, back to my challenge.  For 40 days, I will be looking for Jesus, and I will be asking Him to "prove" Himself to me. And I realize that much of how/where I see Him right now is in my lil Sweet P, after all, he's a gift from God, but I will be trying to look beyond my son.  See past his cute little chubby cheeks to the sunset in the background.  Look up at the night sky to be enamored by the stars instead of stare at Sweet P's little person when I'm rocking & nursing him when he wakes at 2am.  Engage with the cashier at the grocery store rather than make googley eyes & sounds with my baby.  And any other way the Lord chooses to reveal Himself or use me. 

*but don't think I won't still be fully engrossed in my son

can't help it.  he's got me where he wants me*

I am sad that I have to challenge myself on something like this.  I wish I could say this is just second nature, but I would be lying (and let's face it, I have enough things on my list to work on, trying to keep lying off that list - even though I'm pretty good at lying to myself and ignoring what's truly in my ugly wicked heart).

My hope and my prayer is that this will become second nature, 

that I will not need a challenge to force me to pay attention to Jesus 

and what he's trying to share with me.

I will be starting this 40 days after Resurrection Day, just like Jesus did.  I think I might even extend the challenge to the group of women that come to the study.  

How about you, will you take this challenge with me?
Is there something else you wish to work on over the next 40 days?

Roller Coasters 7 & 8: A Birth Story

Continued from the "Life Since Then" post,  are Roller Coasters 7 & 8.  This is our Birthing Story and the following week.

Roller Coaster 7
We left for the hospital very early in the morning (5:30 am) to be <heavy breath> induced.  Not at all apart of my <cough cough> birthing plan, but according to my doctor, necessary (as you read on Roller Coaster 6).   God blessed us by having a wonderful friend give us a surprise meeting at the hospital entrance to pray over our labor & delivery and for our precious little one.

Once I was connected and receiving Pitocin, we settled in for a long day.  (The nurse had a difficult time finding a vein for the IV, and after a 3rd attempt, brought in a different nurse - needless to say, I looked as though I was a 'user'.)

I had a very good friend, a Doula (in training) and my husband there to keep my company.  A few other friends stopped by and covered us in prayer.  Around noon, the contractions started getting stronger, but I had only dilated to 2.  I used the birthing ball, walked around, etc, trying to dilate more. Around 5:30pm, I finally dilated to 3.  I got excited that we were finally going to be 'moving along'.  But that did not happen.

Holding/Seeing my son for the first time.

I was checked multiple times throughout the night, but did not dilate past a 3.  Into the morning we went and still nothing past a 3.  I am one of those unfortunate people that Epidural does not seem to work on.  So, while I had the spinal and Epidural administered, it worked for only 20 minutes and not again.  My contractions were horrid, as the Pitocin was turned up in hopes that I would dilate more. My son's heartbeat kept dropping and that was scary enough.  Now my heartbeat was dropping.  The nurses administered Ephedrine to get my heart rate up and hoping to up my son's.  Then the oxygen mask came out.  I looked at my husband and he his eyes were starting to turn glossy.  My Doula was praying over me.  My husband was praying over me.  And then my fever spiked.

I am allergic to many many things.  We didn't know what antibiotic I could have, but they needed to give me something.   I remembered having Amoxicillin as a child and being ok, so the Dr decided to give me another form of cillin (that I cannot remember the name of).  Yay- no bad reaction.  (in the past, I had been given an antibiotic I had a bad reaction to and it was not a good experience).

Around 3:00 am, I was checked again.  My son was in the birth canal but I was still not dilated past 3. :(  His heartbeat continued to drop and I could see on the nurses face that she was very concerned.  I asked her to come over to me (had I been able to, I would have grabbed her shirt and pulled her to me to be almost touching noses) and I said

"it seems this situation is getting pretty severe.  I don't care what you have to do or how you have to do it, but GET MY SON OUT OF ME. The next words I want to hear 'Healthy Baby Boy'".  

The nurse replied, "I'm going to go call the Dr." 

My lil man.
Phalen James
7 lb 7 oz 20 in long

I poured my heart out to God.  Very loudly (to my own ears) I begged him to not take another baby from me, but to deliver this one healthy and happy.  

Within 30 minutes (and while I still prayed), the nurse rushed in with several other nurses following.  I knew the situation was going to get real intense.  And when I started to open my mouth, she said 

"We're prepping for cesarean"

At 4:28am, my son was born.  It was not "healthy baby boy" that was said.  His heart was not beating.  I remember I started to panic and the anesthesiologist started very firmly telling me to calm down.  I don't know how much time passed before they got his heart beating, but they had to take him to the NICU.  I did not get to see my son.  I sent Justin with them; I was so afraid of leaving our little one without one of us.

They wheeled me into the recovery room and about an hour later, they brought my little boy in.

Roller Coaster 8

We found out after delivery that during my labor with William, he passed an antibody to me that fights my husbands blood type.  Since all children we have will carry half of his blood, this will cause problems for all future children we have.  

Needless to say, in birth, I passed the antibody to Phalen in a form similar to a virus.  (We praise God everyday that it was passed in birth, if he had been created with the antibody as part of his make-up, he wouldn't be here with us.)  The day after labor/delivery, I was holding Phalen and noticed his coloring didn't look normal.  I mentioned it to the nurse who assured me he looks normal and it must be the lighting.

My precious babe under the "blue light"

Well, she must've just been wanting to keep us calm because shortly after, a nurse came in with the pediatrician and took him to the NICU to have his blood drawn.  The pediatrician came back, sat down and started to explain to us what happened, what could happen and what we were going to do about it now in hopes to rid our precious babe of this "virus" before it gets worse (and worse is brain damage and/or fatality).

Since we caught it early, we started attacking with the blue light for jaundice babies.  We weren't allowed to hold our new little one except to feed.  The problem is, he wouldn't feed because he was sick.

The doctor told us the fastest way to get this through his system is for him to poop.  He can only poop if he eats.  So, we would wake Phalen every hour and a half and feed him.  If we did not wake him to eat, he wouldn't wake up at all.  I pumped Colostrum and fed it to him through a syringe.  And since that was the only time we could hold him, I would undo the top of my gown, lay him on my chest and take a few extra minutes to get what I feel is much needed bonding time.

Bonding with my little gift

I don't think there has ever been a time, or will ever been a time, that either of us have been soo expectant and excited for poop.  But we, and the nurses as well, practically had a party every time he pooped!

We were completely beside ourselves.  We just kept praying.  I was recovering from a cesarean and couldn't do much.  Justin was wonderful during the entire time, changing his diapers, bringing him to me to feed, etc.  AND Justin had an interview for a promotion that was scheduled pre-labor.  So, he had to do the interview over the phone, in the hospital room with uncertainty looming over us (he got the position). 

Phalen holding Justin's finger.
This was the most we could do except
when we were feeding.  

It took three and a half days for the antibody to be depleted from his system.  He had to have his blood drawn every 8 hours.  His little wrists and heels had marks for a week after we returned home from the needles.

Today, Phalen is almost 4 months old.  He is Healthy Baby Boy who is now weighing in at 15 lbs, 8 oz.  We co-sleep with him;  I can't bear to leave him in his room, in the big crib, by himself yet.  I don't like to put him down, and I don't like to hear him cry.  Many don't agree with us on this, but many have not walked our path.   

Our little blessing has such personality.  He laughs, he screeches when he's excited, he is so strong willed and has no problem letting us know when he doesn't like something.  He loves when I sing to him (and is the only one who likes that).  And he loves music in general.  We have dance party together and I wake him up every morning with classical music playing over him.  He smiles at me when I say "Good Morning Baby" and he stares in awe at the colorful elephant mobile above his changing table (that friends brought him from a mission trip to Cambodia).  

Our little man is such a delight and we thank God for blessing us with such a BIG gift in that little package.

"[We] prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted [us] what [we] have asked of him."
1 Samuel 1:27

Life since then...

Well, it has been some time since my last post. Since then, we have been on a roller coaster ride so to speak.  Well maybe a few/several/many (eight) different rides; like when you go to six flags, they are all lined up and have their own loops and twirlies and ups and downs?!  Yes, that has been our life and home the past several months.

Starting in May, roller coaster one:
We had to build an extra room in our home for our pending Little Blessing's arrival.  We live in an association and are not permitted to change the outside structure of our home.  So, we had to find the space inside our home to build a room into........Master bedroom took the fall.

Our master was a bit oversized if the real intent of a bedroom is to sleep.  So, we moved everything from our bedroom into our living room and started the renovation. We had a mattress on the living room floor that we slept on.  Being 5 months pregnant and growing, it was challenging, but I knew in the end would be worth it!

              

Baby Room walls up, needing new carpet and paint 

Roller coaster number two:

The room was completed in July and in the meantime we decided to redo our floors.  We had a month and a half until our due date and felt the floors should be done prior to our little one's arrival.  We moved all of our belongings into the garage (super excited that everything we have fits into our garage!) and checked into a hotel for several days while our house received new carpet throughout the living space and bedrooms, the dining area received an engineered wood.   Previously, we had a cream colored carpet throughout, including the dining area, and we chose a multi-colored carpet that is made of corn fibers so the VOC is as low as wool (without the price tag!).

Dining Room and Living Room before new flooring

                                         Dining and Living Rooms after new flooring

Roller coaster number three:
Moving back into our home five weeks before our due date, we decided to tackle the redo of our bathroom.   This included new paint, new flooring (from vinyl to a granite composite tile), and change the vanity.  In order to save money, we decided to sand and stain the vanity from a light oak to a nice black.  We bought the rustoleum counter top transformation kit for a white counter top........well, that didn't turn out so well (user errors, I'm sure).  In light of time (a week and a half from due date), we decided to purchase a new counter top.  This proved to be a much better option in the end.  This project was completed days before we delivered our little one (and I am still decorating it).

No pictures for this yet as we are still decorating it.

Roller coaster number four:
We were fortunate enough to have many friends give, or lend, us the items necessary to care for our pending arrival.  We also hit a lot of yard sales over the summer to find necessary items and clothing.  This was such a blessing and helped us out tremendously!!!  Due to receiving an amazing hodgepodge of items, we decided to paint all furniture items white in order to match.  While my husband was hard at work doing that, I "mod podged" paper onto shelving and the back of a bookcase to better fit the colors I wanted to showcase in the baby room.  (we are still working on painting the bookcase)  We had the crib, rocking chair, and changing table ready for the baby's arrival.

I will post more pictures, once we have the bookcase done, of the entire room.  In the meantime, the below picture is the changing table (a quasi picture of it before is in the top photo of the bedroom).  

We also painted the diaper pail (beside on left) orange. 

Orange is my primary accent color for the room.

Roller coaster number five:
I quit my job!  Yup, to be a stay at home mommy.  After 10 years working with this company, we decided it was best for our family if I "stayed home".  It was an interesting day.  My last day was the day after my birthday.  I took my birthday off (had it scheduled in January, before I knew what day I'd be quitting) and when I came to work on my last day, my desk was decorated in a "Happy Birthday/Congratulations for Baby/Happy Retirement" theme.  It was sweet!  (and since then, my husband has received a new position in the company - so two major "job" changes for us in a month and a half!)

And because I love Rainbows....

Roller coaster number six:
The last several Dr appts I had, they were having a difficult time finding the baby's heartbeat.  In the sonograms the baby was always sleeping and the Dr would jolt my stomach to have him move or have me get up or roll around.  This would also cause the heartbeat to go up.  My last appt before the due date, the Dr had an extra hard time finding the heartbeat, even rolling around and poking didn't deliver a strong heartbeat.  The Dr measured the fluid in the placenta and determined that it was too low and said we would need to induce.

This was crushing to me.  I so desperately wanted to 'go into labor'.  I wanted to be sitting somewhere and randomly have contractions start, or my water break.  After our experience with William, I really wanted to have a normal delivery and at the end hear "healthy baby boy".

My husband, on the other hand, who is a planner, was ecstatic to have a schedule!

The night before we induced.  

Roller Coasters number seven and eight are the delivery story and directly afterwards...they are their own long stories so I will share them on a future post.  I'm sure this one has been long enough!

I will not keep you guessing though....Our baby boy was born, and is HEALTHY!!!

And through all of these Roller Coaster Rides, Jesus has been holding my hand and keeping me pretty even keeled and leaning on Him... even being 5+ months pregnant and riding rides that are ranging from the kiddie coaster to the topsy turvy!  Praise Jesus!